For all the bad guy talks

[bana'Shee]

So a friend of mine and myself were looking at this and rolling with laughter, and though I am SURE people have seen it before, It simply needs to be posted. So here it is:

The Evil Overlord List

The semi rules for the discussion:

1. READ IT ALL and laugh!!!
2. Copy/paste you all time FAVORITES of the list and talk about why, if there even is a why. some are just damn funny.
3. Why bother? Cause its fun!! and even bad guys need a laugh.

so laugh and be evil... and choke a bunny or something

[bana'Shee]

My personal favorites:

I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues to my Master Plan in the form of riddles for my enemies to find.

Seriously.... how many bad guys do this? ALOT. Why? mostly cause they will say its good roleplay for the good guys, but sometimes not saying anything is better than hinting. make the others work to know.. and giggle from your evil fortress as you watch them!! ((though remember much of this does fall into that *if i could be the end all of all evil overlords category.))

One of my chief advisors will be an average, every-day eight-year-old child. Any flaws in my Master Plan that he is able to spot will be corrected long before I put that plan into action.

children just know the darndest things, seriously they do.

If I am forced to make my escape, I will not pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner before leaving

If one of my enemies says, "Look, before you kill us, will you at least tell us what this is all about?" I will say "No." And then I will shoot them.
My enemies are not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or a last anything. They are entitled to get shot.

These go together... jsut because.

I will not set myself up as a god. That perilous position will be reserved for my Trusted Lieutenant

and lastly....
If I have children and then grandchildren, I will keep my three-year-old granddaughter near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will first ask him to explain why it is that her beloved Grandpa has to die. When the hero launches into a long-winded, way-over-her-head dissertation on morality, that will be her cue to pull the lever that sends the hero into the pit of crocodiles. (Children love crocodiles almost as much as they love their grandparents, and it’s always important to spend quality time with children.)

have fun ^^

[kyra reiter]

i have tried cutting and pasting all of this link, different parts of it, and nothing works

[bana'Shee]

took me a bit to find a site that would cooperate >.< but i fixed it i think.

thanks for letting me know ^^

[Kit Coyote]

All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

Damn there goes our main population booster.

[kyra reiter]

If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor. - LMAO!